( I have posted on this site which is all about the human odyssey, but derived from my small recapitulation of it.)
I have pledged to take myself to task with ‘Tracking Wonder’. It has become an inflamed need to forge or find a clear path. Not long ago I had an amazing esoteric ‘reading’ ; not of my personality ( all too familiar!) but my soul’s path. William Meader is an extraordinary visionary, whose clarity is compelling. His astrology is not concerned with the surface, relationships, money etc but the driving influences that shape an individual life, and accounts for the repeated patterns within it.
Since I have always believed I have been ‘called out’ to interpret life differently I wanted to determine whether this was a egotistical afflatus that gave my life purpose, or was justified from another perspective, and I really did have a ‘job to do’. Three years ago I published the book that I thought was that ‘job done’. Its conspicuous ‘failure’ is not (I believe) a reflection of its quality ( it has won accolades and prizes) but perhaps a failure of discrimination. It was originally 45 years too early for an alternative science, and now its re-written form as poetic science might have been too late for the sound-bite world of twitter.
So my search is to reconcile either a life mistaken, and misapplied, with little time left to remedy OR to see the perspective entirely differently. The exhaustion might have incubated a little precious time, or brought me to the point when giving up (on that over-long journey) is true maturity?
In answer to Susan Piver’s first prompt ‘What I most need to tell myself in 2016’ I can only at this point offer this ‘To stop rehearsing what once was true, in order to listen to other voices, both inner and outer’ William Meader acknowledged that I was a compulsive pioneer in everything (Aries at a zenith with Jupiter coming up fast) but the danger of Sagittarius as an influence was a tendency to point the arrows in too many directions without taking a fixed and true aim at the most important. I want to be able to see that aim for the arrow. Then I will be able to release it! That is my hope.
10 thoughts on “Tell Yourself? Quest 2016”
This is excellent news. I shall watch with interest!
I am excited to be Questing with you. Direction is something I seek every day. xoS
What’s your fixed and true aim?
You know I think your book ‘Involution’ is a revelation, and should inspire scientists. Unfortunately, to have influence this exclusive field you face two major obstacte, being a woman, and not having a scientific research grant. My thought on this … how to use this to your advantage … ?
Re ‘fixed and true aim?’ I am trying to find it. Today’s post https://philipparees.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/the-lyre-not-the-flute/ was the first real affirmation by a scientist of similar stripe not only that the thread of science was detected, but corroborated entirely independently. The ‘being a woman’ as you know was initially obscured ( in the teeth of reluctance) by P.A. rather than my name! It failed.
So in essence I am trying to decide whether to leave the book to its fate ( oblivion?) or carry on being a woman manfully ignored! A recent colloquium in which women were outnumbered 15 to 1 made the indulgence towards women ( who spoke) painfully obvious. I had never believed it until I saw it so clearly. Yet there are a few grass shoots of new interest and finding Jose Diez Faixal ( or being found by him) has been a great fillip!
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Thanks for sharing your experience; I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what really constitutes “success” and if it’s even something I should be striving toward (it strikes me, on close examination, as a bit of a loose, baggy monster). Here’s to fresh clarity in 2016!
Thanks for leaving a spoor through this page. We all know that success is not to be measured by outer signals. The problem with being a writer is that some small success needs the odd reader, and perhaps accepting ‘odd’ (in both senses) is a road to peace?
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May your arrow find its true north Philippa.
Thank you kind friend. It is interesting that in the two days since joining this ‘quest’ to determine that true North my world has thrown appalling horror in my path from my past. That probably won’t surprise you, Jungian, but one forgets the pattern of dark obscuring light, and immediately!
The dark reaches towards the light – it needs bringing UP to meet the light. It’s not so much that light reaches into the darkness – a bit finicky I know, but at least that’s my understanding. Good luck Philippa. The heights are reached only by way of the depths …